Just before you say “ YES I DO”

(Strictly for Intending couples)

(Caveat Emptor:  This write up is strictly for Intending couples, before you go on reading it, you must identify yourself that you are in that category)

Okay, having done a little test and had screened out all the players or the unserious lovers from reading this piece, intending couples, lets study something together about your ideal person… some pitfalls you will have to avoid before saying YES I DO.

Credit must be given to Zicolo Abiola Issac for the inspiration to write this, he  wrote a wonderful piece in his Facebook page which I found very useful and which am going to adopt most of his points and discuss about it.

Of course by the time of writing this note, I am still single (If you are reading it after February 18, 2010), so many will say, “What do you know about Love and marriage to teach us” but, I have had my own fair share of the Love and Relationship and there are some topics about love in which I consider myself worthy and qualified to talk about.

Okay, enough of this rambling, lets start….

Do you have a relationship with a girl or a guy and  you are telling yourself that its time to settle down… as a lady, do you think its high time he proposed, and as a guy, do you think this is just the right moment to pop the question.

Well… most people get to that stage without actually knowing how they get there. Many just start conceiving marriage thought without the right motive.

To some, it may be the age factor… the thought of “ Oh, I am getting old o… when will he propose na” or “All my age mates are married, am tired of doing the best man, its time I take her to the alter” comes readily to mind.

If that’s your motive for getting married, then you better check out yourself, you are seriously not ripe for marriage, and you are heading for a turbulent time in your marriage.

Deciding if you’re ready to make the commitment to marriage is only half the battle, before you ever think of settling down, there are a few things to consider first because, you must figure out if the man or woman in your life is the right one to devote yourself to until death do you part. Believe me, this is not a joking matter, there are a few warning signs that your boyfriend girlfriend is not marriage material. It’s a complex situation but we are going to address them carefully here.

• Is he or she the Touch and Go person: Are you getting married to a restless person, a guy or a girl who has trouble committing to a job, a friendship or even a hairstyle might not be the best person to swear your undying loyalty to. If she has tried numerous short-lived career paths or is constantly making new friends and dropping the old ones, these may be indications that she’s not the kind of girl who’s in it for the long haul. settling down simply may not be in the cards for someone so free-spirited and fickle, Even if he/she sticks around, consider the possibility that his/her ever-changing lifestyle could derail your own life plan as well. Remember getting married means combining your lives in nearly every sense. Give some serious thought as to whether or not she will be a good influence on your future.
• Is He/She the Jealous Type? If your boyfriend/girlfriend is jealous of every guy/girl who comes near you, going to the putting a ring on her finger is not going to make her more secure. Everyone gets jealous sometimes, but if you find yourself constantly having to reassure her that the other women in your life are not a threat to her, this could spell doom for a long-term commitment. Two years ago, a guy actually called me on phone to tell me to steer clear of girlfriend…. It really turned me off from that kind of relationship. A good husband/wife is not possessive or irrational. As long as you’re not giving him/her any reason to be suspicious, she should be able to keep the green-eyed monster in check.
• Is the sex life totally different? Have you really have cause to wonder if your partner’s sex drive match yours: Sex is an important part of any relationship, and the way you relate to each other physically has a big influence on whether you stay together after you say “I do.” One sign that to show that he/she might make a bad husband/wife is if his/her sex drive differs wildly from yours. Whether it’s much higher or much lower than your own, his/her libido will have a huge effect on your happiness as a married couple. Sex-drive issues can be the result of medical or psychological problems, so problems might come and go, but either way, it’s best to work this out before you walk down the aisle.
• Is he/she happy when your friends are with you? Mmmmm…. This is a very sensitive matter, have you thought about his/her disposition towards your friends? A guy/girl who disapproves of you hanging out with your friends will become a husband/wife who doesn’t want you to have your own life outside of the marriage. Even if he/she is not that fond of your buddies, he/she shouldn’t stand in the way of you spending time with them on your own. Provided your friends aren’t convincing you to rob banks or visit a Juju man. He/she should trust you to make your own decisions about your friends. If he/she tries to restrict that now, it’ll only get worse after you say your vows. One of my girlfriends was always against my friends, she will always ask me what’s my use of staying with them. She once asked me to choose between her and my brother when there was a conflict of interest… of course you can imagine that I will chose my brother, the relationship did not even lasted long for me to consider her a wife material.
• Is he/she trying to change you? If your boyfriend/girlfriend is constantly fussy about your appearance, your behavior, your personality, your career path, your friends, and your habits, he/she is essentially telling you that you’re not good enough for him/her. Everyone can make improvements in their lives, and a good partner should help you become a better person, but if he/she is forever on your case about changing one thing or another, he/she is certainly going to make a bad husband/wife. You also have to decide whether or not the things he/she is asking you to change are reasonable or out of the question. Can you give up your vision of a loft downtown for his/her desire for a house in the suburbs? Are you ready to start putting on jean just because he/she says that’s how he/she wants you to dress? What if you’ve always wanted to be a father/mother and he/she is dead-set against having children? Ask yourself how much you’re willing to give up to please him/her. A lady was always nitpicking about lots of things about me, she complained about the way I eat, she complained about how I laugh, she complained about how I sleep, she complained about virtually everything about me so one day I asked her, “are you sure I am what you want? You better decide now because this is who I am, I can’t start changing how I walk, talk, eat and sleep because of you”.

Contrary to the wisdom of pop songs, love is not enough to make a marriage work.

Getting married means sharing your entire life with another person, so you want to make absolutely sure that he/she is someone you’ll be happy spending time with day in and day out. Keep an eye out for these warning signs that your boyfriend/girlfriend will make a bad husband/wife and avoid committing to the wrong woman.

If he/she has all or most of the above traits, then you had better think twice before you decide in saying “YES I DO”. Marriage is an eternal thing and once you are inside, it’s till death do you part.

Felix Adewumi's World: Forced Wedding

Felix Adewumi's World: Forced Wedding

Luv and Marriage: Simply Misunderstood

By Felix Adewumi 
(DISCLAIMER: All names in dis write up are ficticious pls. D names av no bearing wit any pple i av met in real life)

I woke up one day to discover dat not less dan 9 girls had actually thot I wud marry dem or expect me to marry dem.
Pls dont get me wrong. B4 u start thinking am prince Charming, d handsome, cool dude wit plenty swaggar which ladies want. NO I AM NOT. In actual fact am d exact opposite.
Am not handsome (as some pple will say).
Am not tall (what most ladies want... Howeva i wont say am short neither).
I dont walk wit that swag dey want (in fact am a bow-legged boi and if u stare very well u will still see it in d way i walk).
I dont av dat enchanting voice dat swept ladies off dia feet (Am not ashame to say dat I stammer wen am angry, agitated or nervous).
But despite all dese flaws, i came to realise dat dose are not all dat ladies look for in a guy, dey look for something special..... One unique feature which supersede d physical attraction and wen dey find it, dey are ready to overlook d other flaws and cling to it.......
Now lets get dis straight.... I only had relationship wit four (4) gals all my life so how come i had over nine (9) gals thinking i wud end up marrying dem?
Wen One of my female friend who got married last year heard d story of my being involved, she actually placed a call to me and said "Congratz Felix, but so if I had waited for u, dat's how u will end up not marrying me?". Dat really shocked me and got me thinking, so all dis while dat we are friends, dis ladies actually thot i may pop d question "will u Marry me" to dem?
Ok.... Enough of d rabbling, lets start from d very beginning.... I grew up in a house filled wit female, save my younger brother and dad, and I learnt a lot about Ladies from dem....
Its natural dat Tinu, Bola, Martha & Abbey (Not all real names) whom I can really say i had relationship wit will expect me to marry dem afterall I always handled my relationship so seriously and wit maturity.
Take for instance, Tinu and I were together for 7 years. I luv everything about her personality, Beauty and d way she relates wit my friends and family, but dat's wia it ends, we neva really got along until sadly it had to end.
Bola filled up d place wia Tinu lacked concerning luv and Communication but cud not provide what Tinu had... It was a tough decision to make but it was obvious from d onset dat it wont lead anywhere even though it lasted on and off for 3 years.
Martha cud av been it.... Dey said we were perfect... Dey said d chicken had come to roost... Howeva, after 3 years of dilly-dallying and indecision, it was not yet Uhuru for me....
Dat Abbey became my choice is one thing some pple will not understand... Remind me in 80 years time.... And i will tell u why she is d chosen one....
Ok.... Back to d other 5 who still felt i ought to av chosen dem.... One of dem (Hannah) whom i actually av not met... (We were only online friends) immediatly fought wit me over my being involved.
D other two (Juliana and Anthonia) were my Lagos office colleagues and dey neva took it easy wit me for getting involve.... According to one of dem, its a bitter pill to swallow....
Abbey Always told me dat d way i handled and treat ladies always make dem think am interested in dem and all dey need do is to silently expect me to ask dem out..... Me think am just simply understood.......
(to be Continued)

Love and Marriage: the place of Bosom Friends

(Sequel to Love and Marriage Simply Misunderstood)
Recently, a friend and colleague drew my attention to a post on one of the social website which dealt with issues of Intimate friends… after reading such post, I begin to wonder within me how this really relates to my life as well as the lives of many people.
In my earlier post (Check Love and Marriage: Simply Misunderstood), I had shared my story on how some people expressed disappointment about my plan to settle down…. Obviously, it was not that they don’t want me to settle, they just could not fathom why they were not the one.
By the nature of my upbringing, as a kid, warming my way into people’s heart is one of my asset, I may not be the soft spoken charming type ladies long for, but my shoulder is as wide and soft as the ear of an elephant and on the shoulder most people find El-Dorado and the Utopia world; no matter how short it may be.
I became a reservoir of secrets; people shared their intimate secrets with me and confide in me on important things that at time I respect the burdens which a Reverend Fathers have to bear daily hearing the confession of the people.
With me, I see my friends as sexless, irrespective of your gender, whenever our heart meets and agrees, we take on from there, but my preference for the opposite sex took over.
Before you castigate me or call me a woman wrapper, remember that I said I grew up in the family of 3 girls and just a kid brother so I am more closer to ladies that men and as far back as my Secondary and University days, it was not strange to see me in the company of a girl, or see a girl tagging along when I go about my normal duties.
However, there was always a limit to our friendship: the word LOVE never arises. In my eye, they are just friends or family members nothing attached.
Many people find it difficult to believe a guy and a lady can share intimate moments with a guy without them actually dating, so I can understand the sentiments that people attach to my relationship with some of those friendgirl.
My first intimate moments with a lady friend came during my final year in the University, Kenny, a very intimate lady-friend of mine had moved into my room where she planned on spending a WHOLE month with me…. We were not dating and I was certainly not looking forward to any thing that would suggest a different set up.
However, after her first 24 hours with me where I had watched her sleep, had her bath, dress up and even seen her in her awkward moments, I knew I was in for a great test of my life. How I passed the test is a story for another time.
Just after my University, another test came during my Service year when Lily, another female friend, paid me a visit and decided to stay for 3 weeks.
Now, the point I am trying to bring out here is this… when these girls decide to go to that extent with you, are they indirectly trying to pass a message across to you that its high time the intimacy move to another level.
In my own case, when I see a lady-friend as a family friend, I am not aroused by her sexuality, so it should not amaze you if I say I actually go to the extent of seeing then in their “Birthday suit” and not feel any sensation run through my body.
Well, not many opposite sex see this as many of us tend to see it. In the first place, many intimate relationships which we term “Just Friends” might actually be more than it looked like as most opposite sex actually believe the relationship might actually be leading somewhere.
Recently, a friend of mine on Facebook received a rude shock when he was turned down by his lady friend whom he shared intimate call with. According to him, within the 8 months in which they were together, she had called him on numbers of time, share intimate secret with him, sent him lovely messages and even hang out, so automatically he had the motion that this is leading somewhere and actually pop the JAMB question “Be my Fiancée”. The answer he got, coupled with the tongue lashed he received from the visibly angry girl will forever linger in his heart.
However, how are we now expected to define the level of intimacy you might want to share with your opposite sex? How far are you both willing to go, how will it affect your personal relationship with you fiancé or fiancée?
Joshua Rogers, an writer/attorney based in Washington D.C in one of his write-up “Your Friendgirl deserves better” stated that people have to wake up to the fact that there is something more important at stake than our convenience with our friendgirl, and what might be at stake is his or her heart.
Most times, ladies heart are vulnerable and after some intimate moments together, the assumption begin to creep into her mind, “I think he loves me, he is just bidding his time”
According to Joshua, when this thinking comes into her mind, it is time for a major break up…. “if you are one of those guys who is passively encouraging a single lady to waste her time on you when you are not romantically interested, then it is time for one of the most important break up of your life”.
How practicable is this advice in your life? How do we succeed in breaking up with someone you are so close with?
Well…. In my own case, I procrastinated in most of my friendgirl’s issue and so was not surprise when most of them showed displeasure at my plans to get married.
The only occasion where I try to use the above principle with a friendgirl almost ended in a disaster. Funmmy (Not real Name) was a very close friend of mine… we met in Lagos, find ourselves in the same company and became so attached when I was introduced to her family and I became part of the family.
In this situation, I thought I was okay with the level of intimacy since we both did not plan to take it further and since we were both in a relationship.
Then all of a sudden, my blissful relationship collapsed and in my moments of brooding over the relationship she confessed to me that her relationship had collapsed for over a year but she had continued to use him as front in order to avoid any complications.
Now the best bet and step for a sharp Lagos guy will be to jump at the opportunity and open a relationship with Funmmy… this many expected me to do, and this I failed to do. To me, we were brothers and sisters… even during a crazy moment when we actually kissed and confess some feelings for each other, I still could not fathom how I will live with someone I had initially consider as my sister… that is incest…
So I took another route, I met Abiodun (Not real Name) proposed to her and introduced her to Funmmy as my fiancée. (Till today, still cannot say if Funmmy is really happy to see me settling down).
As for my other friendgirls, I guess I should have followed the advice of Joshua and clearly define what really exist between us.
So you don’t have to fall into the same dilemma I fell into with my friendgirl, ask yourself today if you think you are doing the right thing with her.
Joshua pointed out that “You might have a friendgirl if you are a friend with a girl you never intend to marry and

• You know she is interested but you figure that as long as you don’t kiss her, she will understand that the relationship is platonic.
• People keep asking you if you are dating her  and you act surprise every time.
• You have had to explain every time that she is just like a sister to you.
• When she calls you, you hang out with her if it is convenient
• When you call her, she leaves everything she is doing to be with you

In actual fact, friendgirl thinks and hopes something might be going on between the two of you or why do you think they stay with you all this while, is it to be your wife’s Chief Bride’s Maid?
So it is very imperative we take the right step now, beware of what you are doing to your opposite sex. She might not find it so funny as you think take a decision today.

My 2011 in retrospect

Ever since I became a journalist, December has always been a busy month for me.
This is d month when i get to write review of the Judiciary, Transport and sometimes the Political section in the year (check my notes for 2009 & 2010),
Every December we have to work tirelessly as our editor breath down on our neck and bellow "have u finished your review? Remember u av to start work on d preview too" .
Oh yes, we also have to turn ourselves to Octopus and Preview d coming year.
These were not easy for me, so d natural thing is to always spend Xmas and New year in d office since u have to meet up wit deadline.
However, this year things became so different. While my media colleagues are struggling wit there reviews and previews (someone even called me to send him my own preview for 2011) here I am, in new and different settings:
I don’t have any editor to submit any review to, i don’t have anyone breathing down on my neck to meet up wit deadline, suddenly, after such a long time, I actually find myself eager to travel for Xmas and new year without having to think of any preview...
However, despite d fact that there is no editor to submit my Law, Transport and Political review, I have decided not to be lazy and write a different form of Review on Fb, wit my Fb friends as my editor and Fb being my newspaper....
Meanwhile, Am gonna have to disappoint people expecting me to talk about Nigeria in 2011 cos dia is nothing to write about apart from Boko Haram and numerous Crises coupled wit Fuel subsidy uproar and other things. (oh, sorry, I will av something to write about if u allow me to compile d numerous Grammar bomb thrown by Madame Patience).
So wit dat in mind, am prepared to review situations around me all through d year.
DIS IS MY 2011 REVIEW...

JANUARY : After an Indifferent new year, I had prepared for a new challenge in d new year. 2 months earlier, I had just changed job from one media house to another and being d Law and Transport editor dia, I had decided to concentrate fully on my job wen a call came in.
I had to change Job again for d second time in 3 months but this time, I had to change Profession as well as location...
It was a tough decision to make... At last I gave in, packed my loads bid farewell to Lagos into d unknown, I started a journey that will take me all thru 2011....

FEBRUARY: Settling down in Abj has not been as sweet as expected.
Coping wit new friends, a new job entirely, and a new environment was not easy... D only thing dat was not new in my life in Feb was Temmy Cara.
By d way, INEC registration was still ongoing so I wanted to exercise my right to vote  but after staying in queue consecutively for 1 weeks, I gave up and went home. At least I tried my best, Just dat Uncle Jega refused to register me .

MARCH: Settling down fully in Abuja, making new friends, understanding new colleagues and working my way to d top of d Ladder.
However, News of d death of my Head Tutor in Abj Late Mr Ogunseni hit me wit such a force. Late tutor was a like a father figure to me during my two month acquaintance wit him. He was a strong voice in persuading me to make d switch to Abuja. His death almost had me having a rethink but I had to continue... Meanwhile, election was brewing so fast. Accusations and Counter accusations were being thrown by Goodluck Jonathan of PDP, Nuhu Ribadu of ACN, Mohamnadu Buhari of CPC and others in TV debates.

APRIL : Election started in earnest, Started wit d National Assembly and Gubernatorial and d wind of change was really felt across as CPC and AC battled it out wit d ruling party PDP. Iyabo Obasanjo, Ayo Fayose, Alao Akala, Dora Akunyili and even former President Olusegun Obasanjo all felt d heat. (still wondering how Jonathan den went head to beat his opponents hands down... But since I was not allowed to vote, I cant complain much)
Then came the introduction of election violence into 2011 election. Riots in Kaduna, Bornu, Jos, Adamawa and Gombe left a lot of pple homeless and dead....
I lost a brother in dis senseless bloodshed as Late Pastor Gbenga Felix Afolalu was killed in Kaduna...
Meanwhile, I also took my relationship a step further in dat month as I took my parents to Temmy Cara's house for proper introduction....

MAY : Generally boring... Life goes on. Still trying to adjust to Abuja lifestyle and has gone 4 months without writing a news....
Swearing in came and went... We are yet to av a feel of what and who we voted for.

JUNE: As uneventful as May, d only event dia was d birthday of my Mum Mrs FM Adewumi (Uncommon FM).
Meanwhile, Boko Haram became a house hold name... Even a new born babe knew who they are

JULY : Nothing.... I was virtually rusted now having not written any news for over 6 month... Abj is taking its toll on me.

AUGUST: Just 2 events worth mentioning, my cousin Oluseyi Taiwo's wedding (6th) and my Birthday (15th)

SEPTEMBER: By now, dia is nothing to write again about Nigeria apart from the usual talk about Boko Haram, Oil Deregulation, Fuel subsidy among others, we are now reaping the fruit of our vote.
Meanwhile, my training continues and is becoming difficult...
Had to travel to Lagos and noticed a different kinda Lagos... Fashola is really living uo to his promise.
Unfortunately, I also heard the news of the death of one of my brother, Engineer Kayode Daramola in a motor Accident,... May his soul rest in peace

OCTOBER : Independence ..... expected another bomb blast, but it went well, training went on smoothly and now, am getting used to Abuja.... even liking it... may be I will stay there after all, while we move closer to our mission.
Went to Federal High Court for 3 weeks Court attachment.... (funny how lawyers and others gazed at my colleagues and I as we clutch on to a special type of machine they have not seen before)

NOVEMBER: went as peaceful and uneventful... as we look forward to December which will hold something special for my Colleagues....Training continues..... by now it has taken everything away from me.... been trying to get back to writing ways by writing on a topic of interest.

DECEMBER: What a way to start the month! passed through screening at FJSC, traveled to Lagos to attend a wedding of two special media colleagues Gbenga Soyele (Compass) and Shola Adeko (Channels TV). i feel like doing mine immediately, anyway, will have to wait few months more.
Now Am looking forward to a brand new year. 2012  here we come!

PS - My Special thanx to my Facebook friends for their love all through the year.... you made this year worthwhile for me... your comments, messages, Pokes, wall posts and calls are appreciated.....Space will not allow me mention names but know that you are all appreciated. I love you all.

WHAT DO WOMEN WANT

The idea came to my mind shortly after a chat wit Temmy Cara... I realised dat i av not really known WHAT WOMEN WANT.... Forget d MEL GIBSON's Theatrical Version of WHAT WOMEN WANT... And Dont even think of JOE'S song.... I WANNA KNOW... Bcos u will neva kno unless u take time to do a analytic researchso i did d laziest work eva.... In d wake of Information technology and global embrace of Social Network, i started an online research of WHAT WOMEN WANT....

I went to my facebook, Twitter, 2go and Nimbuzz Account and just updated my Status to "WHAT DO WOMEN WANT? As usual, topics like dat will always raise few dusts and mine neva failed to disappoint, dis first generated a little arguement among some of my colleagues in my office as dey all give dia opinion on WHAT WOMEN WANT....My elder Sister Oluwafisayomi Oloruntimehin who understood wia i was coming from cud not help commenting on my status wit a very short comment:"Women are special so, count yourself lucky guyyyyyyy!"

Another Respondent, Giovanni wud not agree dat women are special... According to him, no man can kno d way of a woman or What dey want cos dia (women) way are like snake upon d rock... As if to buttress his point, Giov propounded an arguement dat Women needed to be lied to "wen u tell a woman d whole truth, she takes advantage of it and slips down but wen u lie to her, she is always on her toe making u feel like a king..."while i beg to differ on dat point, experience showed how some women wud not believe any truth u tell dem but swallow d lies u tell Hook, line and Sinker.

Mr Sunday Ologbon corroborates Giov's point wen he enthused dat Women needs care, love, Affection but above all dey needed 2 be lied to...Being still a bachelor who is aspiring to drop my "Bachelor degree" For a "Master Degree in family life", i was taken aback by Mr Sunny's comment considering d fact dat he is a Married man.... Can he be speaking from Experience? Is he really saying i sud start lying to Temmy if i need to satisfy her? WHAT DO WOMEN REALLY WANT? I prodded further, Timehin Adefemi... A friend and clanmate cud not tell me what i wanted to kno as he returned my question wit a a more puzzling answer... According to him, "Just like u, all men keeps asking same question everyday bcos women are so unpredictable".

If Timehin's response was puzzling, Femi Francis, my childhood friend threw a bombshell wen he declared dat Any man who says he understand what women wants is a fool.... B4 i cud recover from my Shock, Femi added dat Women themselves do not understand themselves... now, b4 u start castigating my friend for his comment, i Want u to Kno dat Femi lived in UK, married to a beautiful wife, had 2 lovely babies, and like me, had 3 sisters in his family wit his mum & dad bubbling in gud health so Femi may av been an expert in d women ministry to make such a comment. And just so u kno, Femi is not alone in dat assumption, Engineer Oladimeji Olutimehin stated dat The truth is no woman knows what she wants as Anyone that comes which fits her for that moment goes. Engineer Dimeji added dat women rely so much on emotions which swings like a pendulum. "be urself b4 a woman and u will win her. Trying to please will make u weak in her eyes. You have to show u are d man wisely though" He concluded..... Mmmm... Words of wisdom...

Another respondent, Bro Odunayo Ayomovich was more direct as he stated dat Women wants and needs depends on emotion, according to him, "you can't studied women ahead. As Events at a particular time will trigger it" but his final words "Afi k'Oluwa ko wa yo" (May God save us from dem) shows dat he too is still trying to fathom WHAT WOMEN WANTS..

Not wanting to be outdone in d debate, women lent dia voices as Olubukola Folasayo, a friend and sister said All women want is to be RESPECT & 2 b heard.... As if trying to use my page to pass across her msg and Be heard, Sayo fiercely added, "damn those men who dont respect us!".Chichi (not real name) was of d opinion dat women want parity and Equal opportunity and argued dat dey had been denied dose opportunities in d society....I find it funny to think someone felt women are not given opportunities in society....

Maybe dose same pple av forgotten dat d women we gave little opportunities in society often misuse it...Lets assuming we want to overlook d opportunity given to Eve by Adam which brings u to our present situation, but other women like our one time SPEAKER, MINISTERs (Save Madam Okonjo Eweala) etc..B4 i move outta line wit d topic on ground, lemme tell u what TEMMY herself said on d issues... According to her, "God will help us to know what we really want & may God grant all our (GOOD) heart desires. She howeva had d last word, "men sud remember dt without women, dey are incomplete...Yeah... I think we (men and Women) complement each other.... Dat's why we were made for each others (Genesis 2:24).... But I still believe that the real answer lies with WOMEN, they only can tell us WHAT THE REALLY WANT...

Why do i stop being a MOSES?

A conversation wit a close friend of mine spurred me to write dis piece.
My friend called me to seek my view on d situation in Nigeria. To his surprise, i was busy watching a movie.
"What has happened to u?" He asked...
"Dis is not d Felix i know." he added...
"tell me d Felix u kno" I prodded him..
"D Felix i kno will not keep quiet in d face of adversity... He is always d Moses dat will want to kno why d fire is burning and d grass is not consumed" he Enthused.
"Mmmm..... Being d Moses....." i mused....
I wondered what being a Moses had helped in Nigeria... Lots of Moses in Nigeria had either lost dia lives or been made a scapegoat....
What av i really gained in being a Moses?.....
I remembered many Moses close to me who are no more....
Edo Ugbagwu (may his soul rest in peace) of THE NATION Newspaper was someone who wud want to kno why d grass failed to burn. He was my very gud friend and really inspired me wen i started journalism but alas his life was cut short wen Hired Assasins visited his home in 2010.... KEN SARO WIWA was another MOSES who was executed for being a Moses....
Dat reminds me, I remembered PROF DORA AKUNYILI (am talking of d Nafdac woman o, not d Information woman) She was another Moses i admired, what did dis led her to?....(Ask Anambrians)
Yes.... Lets come back to me being a Moses, what did i gained in being a Moses in d first place? After being a journalist for majority of d 20s of my life, I was ready to take d bull by d horn with my write-ups, i remembered lots of stories i had written which had endeared me to some Corporate organisations or even turned me to a dia foe..... I remembered d death threats i recieved from Some aggrieved sections due to some of my piece..... (My piece - OYO STATE- THE MADNESS CONTINUES.... Readily comes to mind).
I remembered how many times i had to hide out of Lagos for fear of assassination.
During d 2007 election, i remembered how i Fueled my car and went round 3 local govts in Ekiti state just to be at d thick of event and was almost Lynched by some party supporter....,
will u blame me if i chose not to be a Moses.... (as some of my friends will say, , "now u av joined d Abuja bandwagon, u will sound like dem")....
Will u blame me wen after queuing up to get registered for almost a week?, INEC refused to register me just bcos dia Machine failed to capture my fingerprint?.....
What will i use to vote wen i was not registered?
how will i comment on a process dat i did not participate?.....
What is dia to talk about? A man was stabbed recently on d eve of d election, while trying to argue on who is d beta candidate....
Two of my Abuja Colleagues nearly went for dia jugulars in d wake of d presidential election just in d process of analysing who won and who did not win.....
I wondered what dey will gain from dat wen D winner and losers av gone on wit dia lives.....
Nigeria politics is likened to d English PREMIER LEAGUE where supporters will nearly set themselve ablaze over who is beta btw ROONEY and TORRES while d duo are catching in on dia Cool millions.
D bush is burning in Nigeria but I must be circumspect in what i say or how i react to d situation.
I must not be made a scapegoat while dose in d seat of hegemony enjoy d nation's treasury.
For d time being, i think i will like to be what i can be beta.... I WANT TO BE FELIX

Forced Wedding

During a wedding reception; d groom was called upon to give his vote of thanx to his guests... He stood up. Walked graciously to d MC, took d mic, den he dipped his hand into his pocket, brought out a long list, adjusted d rim of his specs, cleared his throat and began to read his vote of thanx: 1. I want 2 1st of all thank Lord Almighty for creating my wife & 2 also thank d pastor & his wife 4 lending us dia wedding rings.2. Special appreciation to my landlord who lent us his car.3. I am most grateful to my boss 4 approving the loan i used 4 d wedding.4. Big thanx 2 d committee of friends for the appeal fund dey raised on my behalf.5. Also to my brother's wife, thank u 4 lending us ur wedding gown.6. Am so grateful 2 d cake designer for d cake. I promised 2 return it 2moro morning as agreed without cutting or eating out of it.7. Special thanks 2 my friends who brought food from dia homes 2 help me feed you all. Please 4 dose who were served food good luck & 4 dose who didnt get any, well we will make it up 2 u during our child dedication ( hopefully next year).8. Very big thanks 2 my parents 4 bringing d village cultural band to supply d music as well as entertain us all here 2day.9. Not forgetting d church marriage committee, thank u 4 persuading my wife to marry me.10. Appreciation 2 the married men in d church 4 rushing me into dis marriage.11. D women are not left out, thanks a lot for teaching my wife how to dance.12. To d youths, thank u 4 sweeping & decorating dis venue with palm fronds.13. I am also grateful 2 my teenage friends for helping with the Zobo drink14. Appreciation 2 my co-tenants for contributing money 4 d cameraman15. Well, I wish u all safetjourney & I pray u don't experience what I suffered 4 this wedding. Thank you

Only If

(Inspired by an emotional life story)
If u can keep ur head wen all about u're losing theirs & blaming it on u.
If u can trust ursef wen everyone doubt u, But make allowance 4 dia doubting too;
If u can wait & not be tired by waiting,Or being lied about, dont deal in lies,Or being hated, don't give way 2 hating, & yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream not make dreams ur master;
If you can think - & not make thot ur aim.
If u can meet wit Triumph & Disaster & treat dese 2 impostors just d same;
If u can bear 2 hear d truth you've spoken Twisted by knaves 2 make a trap 4 fools,Or watch d things u gave ur life to, broken & stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If u can make one heap of all ur winnings & risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss & lose, & start again at ur beginnings & never breathe a word about ur loss;
If u can force ur heart & nerve & sinew 2 serve ur turn long afta dey are gone & so hold on wen dia is nothing in u except d Will which says 2 them: 'Hold on!
If u can talk with crowds & keep ur virtue Or walk with Kings - nor lose d common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt u,
If everyone count with u ,but none too much;
If u can fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds' worth of distance run, urs is the Earth & everything that's in it, & - which is more - you'll be a foreva UNTOUCHABLE

Fear: the Painted devil and silent killer

FEAR cripple all intents.... It turns a dwarf into a giant... According to Shakespeare, "dia is nothing to FEAR but FEAR itself"... Ur FEAR is only d DEVIL u av painted... As u live ur life, what are d things u FEAR most? FEAR OF D UNKNOWN... LACK OF PREPARATION... INSECURITY... Or UR ILLUSION... Dont let dem limit ur achievement.. STARE DEM IN D EYE and u will get ur victory over dem...
D things we hate d most av often turned out 2 be d trigger of our fears.. Our heart skips a beat wen we see dose things... Stare closely @ ur fear & u will realise dat it has no leg & is incapable of wrecking havoc...
Dont also give ample reason 4 Illusion to thrive & dominate ur life.. It is just a figment of ur imagination. As long as d illusion of fear thrives, ur mind cannot be at its creative best... What are d things u hate & fear most? Stare dem in d eye & u wud gain d freedom from dem...
Everyone has a mountain 2 climb. Find a way around urs if u cant climb it. What eva happened 2 u is forgone conclusion... U cant change yesterday but ur 2moro.. U can effect +ve changes in ur life cos Ur genes are dat of a winner & u av paid d dues 2 reach higher height.. As u face new challenges, always remember dat dia is no omelet witout breaking of eggs. Dont be discouraged,... Dont eva quit, cos quitters neva win &winners neva quit.. Dia may be forces ready to side track u but u need 2 be strong & succeed bcos u're d sunshine & no one can cover d sunshine.
D secret of getting ahead is getting started, d secret of getting started is breaking your complex, overwhelming tasks into small manageable task & then starting on d first one......be prayerful & commit it all to GOD