Should Sex be as a Weapon?
By Felix
Adewumi
“You play
with desire like it was a toy
How much
affection can you destroy
You wrap my
heart around your little finger
Sex, sex,
sex as a weapon
Stop using
sex as a weapon” (Pat Benatar – Rock ‘n’ Roll Star)
Listening to the lyrics of Pat Benatar’s song “Sex as a
Weapon” I got curious, can Sex really be used as a weapon? I began to ask
around and the first information I received was in the form of a joke.
According to the Info, a couple had an argument one afternoon; the husband had
insisted his wife must move out of the house because she called him a big fool.
It took the intervention of neighbours and friends to make the man change his
mind. Later that night, when the wife lay down to sleep, the husband crept up
to the wife and placed a hand on her as he made a move to draw her closer to
him in order to make love. “Who is that fool?” the wife asked, “I am the one”
the husband reply, and that settled the whole thing. The husband had
inadvertently admitted to be a fool just because he needed to have sex with the
wife and the wife had gotten the upper hand once more ..... hmmmmm... the power
of Sex.
Without being aware of it, the most prevalent way sex can be
used is for control and manipulation more than for procreation and the women
had the greater advantage of using it than the men. In one third of marriages,
there is a desire gap, one person desire sex more than the other person does
and typically, men want sex more than women do and the person who want sex the
least is the one who is in control and this is how sex has been used as a
weapon of manipulation.
It is probably very clear and obvious that sex is a very
strong drive in human, however, the strength of the drive may change over life
but it is nevertheless present in most individuals throughout most of our life.
A very important thing we ought to realise is that sex is a very powerful two
edge sword that can be seen as the metaphysical equivalent of nuclear energy.
It can be used constructively or destructively. Sex is used to procreate along with making us
feel good but what happened when sex is used for something else. We will
discuss some type of weapon in which Sex can be used.
* Sex as a Money Making Weapon: The
University runs girls popularly known as Aristos use this weapon very well.
They run after Sugar daddies and the only way they get money out of the “Rich
fools” is through sex. A man who hardly provide money for his wife at home will
give out 300 thousand to a girl just because he derives pleasure from her. In
such situation, the girls know that as far as they keep giving the men the
correct pleasure, the money keep flowing. Some Aristos even use the weapon
correctly and get millions or cars out of the men.
* Sex as Weapon for Information: Most people
believe that the best time to get true and correct information is during
foreplay preceding a sex. At that point, both of the players are no longer in
Planet earth and the only thoughts in their mind is Sex. At that moment, if the
lady needs a piece of information from the man, she gets it easily. Delilah
might have extracted information from Samson using this method. The same thing
also applies to the man who needs to extract information from a lady.
* Sex as a Weapon of Punishment: Think of
this scenario that happens in bedroom almost in every homes across the world.
After a day where there had been a little misunderstanding at home and temper
rising, the night comes and you climb into bed, you mate draws you closer and
whisper to you “Honey, let’s have sex” still angry about the argument you had
earlier in the day, you roll over to the other side of the bed and reply “ I am
not in the mood tonight” and you close your eyes pretending to be sleeping.
Defeated, your mate rolls back over to the other side of the bed and either
sleeps off or pretend to sleep. Sex has just been used to punish your spouse
for an argument you have had earlier in the day. Most times, we refuse to allow
our spouse touch us because we don’t feel like they deserve it. Some women even
felt sex has to be earned.
* Sex as a Reward: Picture this scenario too, A husband has just
arrived from the office, and he had stopped over at a boutique and bought a
favourite dress that the wife had longed admired, he also bought a pair of shoe
and a Louis Viton Bag, he then stopped over at a fast food spot and got a nice
dish. Upon getting home, he present all these to his wife and the wife plants a
sweet and nice kiss on his lip. I can bet with you that the husband is surely
going to get more than a sex at night because the wife felt the husband had
earned it. Many women felt sex is the best way to reward the men. A woman even
pointed out that if her husband is well behaved, he gets a Sex reward and her
husband also affirmed that most time when he noticed that his wife is not
forthcoming when it comes to sex, he go the extra mile to make her happy, buy
her gifts and surprise her, then he begin to get “hot Passionate Sex” as he
called it.
Dangers of using Sex
as a Weapon
Professionals declare that this is the most prevalent way
that sex can be misused when it should instead be a means to create intimacy.
According to some experts, using sex as a weapon is the primary cause of sexual
dysfunction within marriage and sexual dysfunction often leads to divorce.
Using sex as a bargaining chips can be destructive to a
relationship over time when sex starts to be viewed as currency. For the
married couple, sex should be seen as an affection which should never be bought
or sold.
To deny someone sex when he/she needs it most is like
denying an asthmatic patient his inhaler, it is tortuous. It is saddening that
most people using sex as a weapon knows this yet they still do it.
The facts of Sex in a family is that a woman desire sex but
a man need it and a husband during a wedding made a vow to be faithful to his
wife, if she refuses to meet his sexual needs and his vows keeps him from
seeking another woman, she is inflicting cruel and unusual punishment on him.
When a woman stops treating her husband like a lover and
starts treating him like a child or handy man, the passion can fade away. Using
sex as a weapon turns intimacy into warfare, in seeking to win and manipulate
your partner, you only end up driving him away.
Sex is the greatest gift of marriage, it is meant to be
enjoyed, cherished, featured and respected and it is what makes marriage unique
among all other relationships. According to the Bible in 1st Corinthian 7:4-5 Apostle
Paul admonished the couple saying “The
wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the
husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Do not deny one another
... Sex should not be used as a weapon under any circumstance.
